While Gaining One Person, Don’t Lose Another
 

On the journey of life, we all build connections with people—sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly. We gain friends, new relationships, colleagues, companions. But remember: while gaining one person, don’t lose another. Because every new friendship you gain cannot make up for a heart you lose.
 

Fragile Hearts, Silent Memories
 

Breaking someone’s heart is not in my vocabulary. Nor is treating people badly or doing things they dislike. Because I know that people are fragile and sensitive beings. Even if they say, “I wasn’t offended, I wasn’t hurt,” they still keep your actions tucked away in a corner of their heart and mind. And one day, they may feel the need to bring it back up. That moment of hidden pain surfaces when you least expect it.
 

We Are Human, We Have Egos
 

Even though I say, “It’s not in my vocabulary,” I am still human. There are times I give in to my ego. Sometimes while joking with my friends, I can go too far. Even though I’m careful not to make jokes that others cannot handle, sometimes their silence doesn’t mean they’re really laughing. Maybe they stay quiet just because we’re friends—but that doesn’t mean they’re not hurt.

And here I remind myself again: while gaining one person, don’t lose another. Because sometimes a single word, a glance, or a careless action can overshadow years of trust, sincerity, and affection.
 

A Real-Life Incident
 

The other day, I was about to take a tram ride. While waiting for a friend outside the tram stop, I witnessed an argument between a young boy, around 12–15 years old, and the station’s security guard. The Security Gentleman was said a bad sentence to him, “” Clearly, something had happened between them before I arrived, which made the guard use such harsh words.

I do not approve of this statement. After all, the Security Gentleman was a 50–60-year-old grown man, and in front of him was just a young boy. Of course, that doesn’t mean the boy was entirely right either. If the Security Gentleman had lost his temper, perhaps the boy had provoked him in some way.
 

At that moment, the boy asked someone nearby to tap their transport card so he could get on the tram, but they refused. I called out, “Come here, what happened?” He told me, “The Security Gentleman won’t let me board without tapping a card.”

In truth, the guard was right—he was responsible for protecting the rights of other passengers. But considering the boy was just a student, would a 9 TL student fare really harm the municipality? While some enjoy luxury meals at low cost and live comfortably on high salaries… 🙂 Anyway, I tapped my own card (a full-fare card costing 22 TL).

 The Security Gentleman didn’t object, and in fact, he had no reason to—because in many cities, people tap for one another all the time. The municipality still gets its money; there’s no real harm. After tapping, I turned and asked, “What’s wrong, brother?” He replied, “Let me see your card.” I said, “Here, take a look—but you don’t actually have the right to check it.” He responded, “You can’t use a student card for someone else.” (For context: my card still said “student” on it, but it was actually a regular full-fare card—I simply hadn’t updated it yet.)
 

As I was walking away, he followed me and said, “Why not? I’m responsible here.” And to be fair, he wasn’t entirely wrong. Still, he could have said it more politely, something like, “Excuse me, may I check your card?”
 

Instead, he looked at me and said:

“Oh sure, should we roll out a red carpet for you and call you ‘sir’ as well?”
 

There was no need for a red carpet, and no need for the word sir—but there was a need for courtesy. Because I am human, and so is he. We must treat each other with respect and kindness. Looking back, my mistake was this: I gained one person, but I lost another.

I could have said to the Security Gentleman: “Look, I’m tapping the card for the boy. It’s a full-fare card, and I’m not taking any money from him. There’s no harm done—please don’t make it harder for him.”
 

And to the young boy, I could have said:

“The Security Gentleman is just doing his job, earning his salary, and protecting the rights of other passengers. Respect his duty. Next time, if you don’t have your card, politely explain your situation and ask if you can pay back later. Don’t make things more difficult.”

Small Gestures, Lasting Impressions In life, small things matter. A smile, a heartfelt thank you, a sincere “How are you?” can win someone over. But just the same, a careless word, a dismissive look, or a rude action can cost you someone’s heart. 

Even if we don’t notice, these things leave lasting marks in people’s memories. We must never forget: in human relationships, winning a friend is far more valuable than making an enemy. Yet while gaining a friend, if one careless step causes us to lose another, that may be one of life’s greatest losses.
 

Looking back, if I had acted with more wisdom that day, I could have gained the young boy without losing the Security Gentleman.

In life, it is not always about who is right or wrong. What truly matters is communicating in a way that protects both our own dignity and that of the other person. Mistakes are lessons; each one opens new doors. Every misstep is actually an opportunity to become more humane, more understanding, and more mature.
 

True success in human relationships lies in moving forward without hurting anyone.
 

And so, I remind myself—and everyone else—once again:
 

👉 While gaining one person, don’t lose another.